This year so far has had many ups, many downs, but all-round much better life than many of the previous years of mine.
First the Bad News:
- Beginning of the year started off rough with an extremely difficult client issue that took several months and a large part of time to deal with (7 months later, still an issue). This is one large reason I didn’t write on my blog (many hours after on-site work hours, was spent working at home on writing a large report and spreadsheets to account for 8 months of 2017 in full)
- A few family members, family friends, and family pets are no longer with us (I LOVE & MISS YOU ALL).
- Around four month into the year I had an overwhelming sense that I may be having liver failure and heart issues (regretfully too stubborn to visit the doctor).
- A few weeks after fearing I was having liver failure or heart failure, I fell very ill for twelve days (again, regretfully too stubborn to visit a doctor), and in all honesty I wasn’t certain I would live through it. Took nearly a month before I felt normal, and stop coughing & sneezing blood.
- I failed at my goals to LiveLife EACH DAY.
Now the Good News:
- With the client issue, though a slow process, they now realize that they shouldn’t try lying and manipulating someone who keeps records of an exceeding amount of information of my work day, and to not lie to someone who can see right through it. Rude awakening for the client who’s gotten away with this selfish behavior most of his/her life.
- Losing family, friends*, and pets* (friends are family friends that I wasn’t close to personally, but meant a great deal to those of my family who mean a great deal to me, and pets* are family members in my family, but are classifieds as pets because they’re spoiled).
- Having the fear of liver and heart failure really caused me to be far less “auto-pilot” on food intake on a daily basis. Although not eating strict, I am eating far less of the non-healthy foods. Exercise routines aren’t where I want them, but I am remaining very active at work, and have lost & keeping off 10-16lbs consistently (goal is to be back down to 170-175lbs).
- After falling ill for 12 days with a laundry list of symptoms, I took the opportunity to begin eating better, stopped drinking alcohol for a month (haven’t drank much or often since), I quit coffee (YES, QUITTING, AS IN ZERO DROPS OF COFFEE), and overall trying to be more aware of the inner issues of my health. It’s strange, but I don’t miss or crave coffee, and have only one mild headache a week now, versus the ten to a dozen headaches on and off again throughout the week as well as normally one or two bad migraines a week. Also my teeth are beginning to whiten more now that I’m not consuming 8-16 cups of coffee a day (not an exaggeration sadly). I love my wife, and want to spend many more decades in good health with and for her.
- Although I “failed” at my LiveLife goals, I haven’t exactly not been living life well. I’ve been far more social this year than ever prior years, been trying new activities, reading more books (yep, more books, exactly what my ALREADY large book collection has been lacking), and several other events/projects.
Summary:
Life will always throw curve balls, sometimes you’re the batter getting struck out, the pitcher throwing them, an outfielder running for a opportunity, or someone in the stands watching others. Life is funny that way, it never goes according to “plan”, no matter how much effort you put into “controlling” it. Just when you “figure it out” you really only “let it slip through your hands” trying to grab onto it. Much like going from cupping two handfuls of sand carefully but don’t stress when some sand falls through the cracks, but when you turn your cupped hands into two fists and squeeze tight, you lose almost all of it until there’s nearly nothing left except white knuckles and little of what you attempted to hold tightly in your control. Be the stong rock that lets the river of life flow around it without stress of not controlling it. Be the river that moves through the lands overcoming and dodging obstacles as they get in your way. Be the land that continually adapts to the seasons and environment. Don’t try to control with 100% goal in mind, no, instead find purpose, power, and persistence to pursue the path you want to push forward, but understand you cannot fully control everything.