Work last week kept me away from LivingLife and having a life. With so much of the crew missing last week, each day and night dragged on no matter how much hustle was going on. A bit over 68hrs in the work week, plus an extra 5hrs for commute to work, following insomnia going into full effect again, last week got better of me.

Although I maintained in decent spirits to get through the week, this continual issue with insomnia drains me, especially during the busiest of seasons. At this moment, I slept hardly 2hrs when I arrived home from work, and have attempted two more doses of sleep medication to aid falling back asleep. Now 5hrs after waking up, I’m in this continual mind fog of exhaustion and wide awake.

My eyes exhausted, light causing them to hurt, closing them causes them to water. How is it that my mind denies my body what it needs? Why will my mind continually strive to fight to stay awake and rarely allow me to rest? The few times I do sleep, my dreams are intense with vivid details and anxious plot twists. At times I awake far more tired than when I went to sleep. Heart racing out of my chest, mind in a panic, body ready to fight.

Many of my dreams are of being chased, or a natural disaster. Frequently the natural disaster dreams I feel myself being calm over the event, but in a frenzy attempting to help others. A few weeks ago was of being on the beach watching as three tornadoes tangoed across the open ocean. As I sat in my chair and other fled the ocean front, I laid still, calm with a drink in my hand as the tsunami sirens rang. It wasn’t until screams for help that shot me out of the chair.

When I found the source of the scream it was of a mother screaming that her child was still in the ocean. Running down into the waves, the wind was howling and water cold, but I kept running until I needed to swim. Once I arrived to the child on a bogey board, I tried to convince the child it’s unsafe to play in the ocean and to follow me into shore.

I don’t remember anything after that, I don’t remember whether the child and I ever got back to shore. My alarm woke me up, and had but a few minutes to get ready for work.

Does this dream have a deeper meaning? Why am I calm during natural disasters in my dream, yet so anxious in my dreams being chased, rarely encountering the person/party/thing chasing me?

My insomnia causes a madness in my mind. Trapped-Exhausted-Awake, my mind and body limbo between sleep and wakefulness. I often have micro sleeps where my eyes and head will drop down for a mere second before snapping back up. These micro sleeps happen often while in bed, but each time I feel my body drifting to sleep, my mind shoots me with adrenaline to wake me up and my heart races again.

My body and mind have not learned to play nicely with each other, one always taunting the other. I need to begin training both together, to team up, to support each other. I’ begin researching the most effective ways for beginners to carry out this task, and will follow-up in new posts my findings and results.

Until next time, keep LivingLife, and take care of yourself and those you love!

Have comments/questions? Please feel free to email me at my2cents@livinglife-blog.com

“Remember, I’m NOT a qualified doctor, trainer, physiologist, philosopher, or have any other certified qualification. I’m only someone who’s passionate to learn & develop personal skills, habits, goals & finding a balance life-style, while sharing my journey through experiences.

– Developer of LivingLife-Blog”